Friday, August 27, 2010


Well school has started, and I now have all 3 in school.
Being a stay at home mom for the last 14 yrs I am now kinda stuck. I need to re-identify myself, and its been pretty depressing, yet wonderful all at the same time. It's great having time to myself, time to clean without interruption or someone messing up behind you, and its also nice to go grocery shopping all by yourself. It's just that feeling of not being needed that really sucks. I mean, I know they still need me, but its in a different way. But Ashlyn has been doing a really good job at still needing her Mama. She comes home and JUMPS off the bus and runs into my waiting arms. She cant wait to tell me about her day, and how much she thought of me. And when she falls or gets a splinter, all she wants is her Mama to make it all better. Even tonight, as we watched a movie, she wanted to snuggle up in MY arms. All she wanted was her Mommy. Katey and Brandon have pretty much been Daddy's kids, and its so amazing to have one be all mine. I think its been nice having Katey and Brandon be all about Daddy because I was the one who was home with them all day, and I got to witness everything while Chris went to work. So to see how much they loved him really warmed my heart. But Ashlyn, I think I really NEEDED her to be mine. I think I needed her to need me, because she was going to be my last. Its crazy watching them grow up right before your eyes. Its just a miracle all of it. How they form inside of you, and so fast. How they grow up right in front of your eyes, its all just amazing.

Next Thurs. my biggest baby girl turns 14. I can't believe that for the last 14yrs I have been a Mom, it has been my everything, and it has been the most wonderful, and challenging, and rewarding job I could have ever had. But now its time to let them grow up, and to become something myself. I really want to become a nurse. I think I have this need to take care of and help people. So this is what I want to do. I want to go back to school, and really dedicate myself to being the best student I can, and soon to becoming a very compassionate and loving nurse. I will start out slowly. With Ashlyn being in school, we just do not know how her little lungs are going to handle it. So I want to take 1 or 2 classes so if she gets sick, I wont get to far behind or have to drop anything. And she only goes to half day Kindergarten, so next year I could take more classes. This year its a see how it goes kinda year.
I hope to be blogging more, so check in often.. I'll try to post daily.. we'll see how that goes.
Lots of Love,